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Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Pointless

I've been unemployed for more than a year; depending on when you start counting, maybe a year and a half to two years.  Prior to that I was already underemployed.  I've been in school for almost six months at the local community college, specifically directed to getting a job in broadcasting.  And it looks like that isn't going to happen.  The jobs just aren't there, it seems.

This is something I've wanted to do for much of my life.  Till my senior year, when I finally learned basic social and speaking skills, it was impossible.  Asperger thing.  But taking a Public Speaking class in that year made a huge change for me.  And I turned out to be good at it.  Depending on who you ask, it is very common and highly unlikely for an Aspie to be a good public speaker.  There are reasons it's a good option for an Aspie.  I think I've explained them before, and if not, I'll explain them later.

And people keep telling me "you have a great voice, you should be on the radio," and so on.  I believe that.  I think so myself, and other people agree, so it's not just me.  When my employers packed up and left the state, I became a Displaced Worker and I figured I had a very special opportunity, a shot at this work I've wanted to do for most of my life.  And I figured by not choosing the jobs that everyone else would be going for, I'd have a better chance. 

What often happens with these programs is that some study decides there will be 100,000 new Registered Nurse jobs.  So they train 300,000 people, and 200,000 are trained but there are no jobs for them.  I figured going for a different job -- which happens also to be my dream job -- would keep me out of that mess.

But...

It doesn't seem like I've learned anything new that'll make me more capable of the work.  Perhaps I came into this with too many capabilities and it just hasn't had the impact it should have had if I didn't.  I did spend more than 3 years podcasting, so I'm comfortable with a lot of audio stuff.  Video isn't a big strength for me, but I don't particularly want to do video.  Aspies simply aren't particularly visual, or at least I'm not. 

Anyway, I'm looking at broadcasting work and wondering if they'd really want to hire me.  I still have the voice and the talent.  Do they want that?  I might have learned new stuff in an Internship, except I didn't get an Internship.  So I'm stuck where I am.

And if they do want me, how do I let them know that they want me?

And what do I do if they want me, but can't afford me?  What if there simply -isn't- a broadcasting job for me?

Then six months in school were unproductive, and over a year of unemployment becomes ... more unemployment?  Don't my benefits run out sometime in here?

I think I will somehow manage to graduate.  And then what?



Monday, April 5, 2010

Stardance

Stardance



Update on Jeanne

Posted: 05 Apr 2010 06:39 PM PDT

From Spider (relayed through Jim.)

Dear friends,

This will be hard to read; it is certainly hard to write.

Jeanne's doctors have ended her chemotherapy. There's nothing more chemistry can do for/to her. Radiation was never an option. She is therefore now in Palliative Care Phase. We asked roughly how long this stage might last—repeatedly—and the only answer we got was, "somewhere between a month and a year—more or less."

Some good news: the Palliative Care doctor she's been assigned is considered one of the world's best. His name, I swear, is Dr. Sugar. Dr. Paul Sugar. Jeanne and I both liked him on sight. Her best friend Anya has been a patient of his for many years, and gives him top marks. So do all his patient-reviewers online.

Jeanne has been in Lion's Gate Hospital for the past week with digestive troubles, and may be there for as long as another week. She is extremely weak and tired, but not in pain. She is being well cared for. And today they finally diagnosed her problem, which should be easily fixable. It is hoped she will soon return home, and rally, now that the chemo is no longer battering at her system. We all know her strength and determination. Our pharmacist tells us she has many customers who've been in palliative stage for more than four years and are feeling fine.

Right now Jeanne welcomes prayers, good thoughts, short emails of love and support that don't require an answer, flowers, letters, or cards. (NO FLOWERS, PLEASE!) Address the latter to Jeanne Robinson, Palliative Care Section, 7th floor, Lion's Gate Hospital, 231 15th Street East, North Vancouver, BC V7L 2L7; her email is stardance@shaw.ca..

But please: NO VISITORS. NONE. THIS MEANS YOU. I'm serious: don't even "pop in for a quick second." She has blood family with her every day: me, her sister Laurie, her daughter and son-in-law and little 10-month-old Marisa. Her mom and her sister Dori is on the way. That's all the fun she (or her immune system, or the nursing staff) can stand, at the moment.

And please, DON'T PHONE HER UNLESS/UNTIL YOU HEAR FROM ME THAT SHE'S BACK HOME AGAIN AND READY TO YAK. Right now talking on the phone exhausts her, especially with concerned friends. And no matter when you phone, you're liable to wake her up. She needs to nap. Thanks for understanding; I know it's frustrating.

Paypal donations for Jeanne and Spider are still being gratefully accepted at http://wedreamforjeanne.blogspot.com/ you'll find a hotlink halfway down that page.

I hope I'll have better news to report next time. Meanwhile your loving thoughts are much appreciated.

Spider