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Saturday, January 17, 2009

"You're gonna miss this..."

Yeah, that's from a country song.  Lots of very sad stuff in country songs.

I'm going through what appears to be a bad time in my life.  I'm unemployed, the economy is in the toilet and is liable to be there a while, I don't have any specific prospects, and each thing I've tried so far has come to an unexpected stop.

And yet, I think back.  There have been quite a number of times everything has gone to hell in my life.  (I'm sensing a pattern here.)  Anyway, sure, the times that sucked, sucked.  But also there were aspects of each that were not that bad, and maybe even good.

When I was unemployed and living more-or-less in the streets of Albuquerque, at least part time, sure that was miserable.  But I also was living in one of the most beautiful cities in the country, and even in winter, it wasn't Minnesota (he says while there's -50F windchill outside).  I could travel all around town on my bike, even in winter.  And as it turned out, one place lots of us street people hung out was the excellent public library down there.  I did like having plenty of time to read.

A job would have been nice, of course.

When I was living in a motel in Ypsilanti, Michigan, I had one of the best-paid jobs I've ever had in my life.  I lived in a little motel room, but that was all I really needed, and it was a bit bigger than the space where I spend most of my time now.  Guys like me prefer small spaces.  And if I wanted to go out, I was a five-minute walk from a decent if rough little bar where they had kareoke on Thursdays and Fridays.  Not much was expected of me, and certainly nothing I couldn't handle.

I was spending more than half of my pay on rent, and I still haven't anywhere near come back financially.  But yeah, that was good in some ways.

Bottom line, the worst of times were, in some ways, still good.  And in some ways I miss those simpler times.  I'd like to live in one of those simpler times without being unemployed and broke and in fact deep in debt sometime.

So I ask myself, what about this time of my life I'm going to miss.  I suppose there's this.   Sure do have lots of time to blog, right?  Lots of time to podcast, too -- though I haven't been keeping up on that.  While I like recording while I'm doing it, I have trouble getting started doing that.  I gather they call that "Executive Dysfunction."  Could be laziness, too.  But I can start out the day fully intending to get one small thing done, and end up starting a dozen other things, not finishing one, and never quite starting on my original goal.  That's kinda how the podcasting stuff's been going lately, too.

So, why will I be missing this time later?  What's good about these times?

I only hope we won't all be missing these times, because later it gets much worse.

"You're gonna miss this.."


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