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Monday, August 11, 2008

A Little More Talk, and a Lot Less Action

Just started recording Episode 67. And just stopped.

I was struggling for something to say, and I just didn't want to do it. I
don't know if there's one specific thing I could point to. Might be lack
of confidence. Might be lack of motivation -- can't say anything has
gotten particularly better because of podcasting. Some things have gotten
worse.

I was taught to just walk away from fights.

Got into an argument with one of the staff at the Androy. Nobody of any
importance, but I didn't feel like fighting. So I walked away, and
stopped singing Karaoke at the Androy, as I'd done for a rather long
while.

Got into an argument with the folks over at LLTTV, where I'd been guesting
on occasional episodes of their podcast. Dropped the group completely,
and stopped following them on Twitter and so on.

Got into an argument in the Podcasters group on Yahoo, whichsame group was
what got me motivated to actually started recording podcasts. Quit that
group, too.

And with the various arguments I've ended up in over a couple different
aspects of the shows... it just isn't worth it. I don't want to argue
anymore.

I did try recording tonight, as I said. I have a pretty fair stack of the
stuff I usually talk about on the show, books I've read, some pretty good
IDSL tunes, some work stuff. But I got to part 2, and I really didn't
want to continue.

I thought for a while I'd finally have a stretch of time off to work on
stuff. This morning they called from work, and I was going to be laid off
for lack of work through the end of the month. It takes me time to get
motivated to actually do anything, and I figured, with almost three weeks
off, I ought to be able to get a lot done. Since it was a layoff for lack
of work, I was perfectly fine for filing for unemployment and just taking
the break.

So of course, this afternoon, they called back again, and said I now have
to work at least the next two weeks, full-time. The way this place works,
I'll probably be have dribs & drabs of work till the snow flies. Nice way
to spend the summer.

All else being equal, I just might not start podcasting again. Lot of
that going around, apparently.

--

Grizzly's Growls Podcast: <http://grizzly.libsyn.com>
Stories from the Hiber-Nation:
<http://grizzly.libsyn.com/index.php?post_category=story>
Blog: <http://grizzlysgrowls.blogspot.com>

1 comment:

  1. An additional note: as it turns out, I had to come back out of a several-week layoff to be working just a little less than full-time. So I have all the annoyances of working fulltime, but I can't actually work fulltime, can't get benefits, but I have to go through the same inconveniences, no sleep, no pride, no real work, but at least I get to go through all that for not enough money. Trying to make a success of the half-assed work of folks who've never worked on the bleeding edge as I have. (Including clients, I understand the difference.)

    God Bless.

    What the... Oh, wait, I'm being good now. Never mind. I would never say "What the fuck were they thinking, that I would feel blessed to work for a half-assed number of hours in a half-assed job for These Guys?" These bozos that ran a decent company with decent jobs into the ground while the real leader of the company was down with the Bad Disease.

    But I would never say that, because it would be rude. And I'd hate to be rude.

    I just forget exactly why that's a problem. Ask Later, as the 8-Ball would say.

    ReplyDelete